Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Not a Good Day

This will be a short post, simply because I am physically and emotionally exhausted. My dad's condition has stabilized and Medicare says he has to go home for now. If he gets bad again, he will go back to the hospice. He is happy, and he has sold them a real bill of goods, because every time they ask him how he feels he says he feels fine. He can stand, but he can't walk, and he has a catheter that cannot be removed.

I am happy for him, because I know it is his wish to spend his last days at home, but he needs more care than my mom can provide. But that's not the big problem. The big problem is my mother, and her 'illness'. When I was a kid she kept our house so clean, but somewhere along the way she just stopped. Their house is filthy - I mean, deep, years of dirt on top of years of dirt filthy, and in really bad shape. It is also 59 years old.

I have tried many times to get her to let me help her get it cleaned up, but she won't --- no, I believe she can't throw away what most people call junk. And to make it worse, she worked at a thrift store for a while, and what they wanted to throw away, she brought home with her. And it's just JUNK!!!

We had to leave the hospice house this afternoon, go to my house and get her things, then go to her house and move 3/4 of the furniture out of the living room so they can get a hospital bed in there. Now she is just totally angry because she had to do this and didn't want to. Tomorrow morning I have to go to their home and help her clean because they are bringing the hospital equipment around lunch, and then they are bringing my dad in an ambulance. It's just not a good situation, but it's 'The Rules According to Medicare", and you can't argue with them. Of course as far as my dad's care, there will be a nurse a couple of times a week, and someone to bathe him 3 times a week, which will be a great help.

I may not post tomorrow, as it will be a very long day, and stressful I am sure, and I'm not sure what the next few days may hold. Please keep my parents and myself in your prayers. God has been working this week, and I don't know what purpose this will serve, but I do believe He is holding me in his hands, I just am not feeling it today. I guess that is just the stress and exhaustion. Blessings to you all, Becky


Anonymous said...

On 9/27, it will be one year since my mom passed away here at home with us (and hospice.) They visited with her 3 times/week for five months prior to her death. As great as hospice is, there will be many things that you and your mom will not physically be able to do. Talk with and confide in your hospice team leader and make sure he/she knows your concerns; ask for advice. And, in case you get into a difficult situation, call 911. The local EMT's helped us lift mom one Sunday in an emergency situation. My prayers are with you all.

K-Sue said...

Will pray. Right now I am praying for sound sleep for you.

Valerie said...

Becky, it sounds like you are on a roller coaster ride. I know the feeling. I deal with another family member that I just don't understand why but we have to keep on keeping on. I am praying for you and your family.

Beverly said...

My prayers are with you. I work in the health care field and it is so sad to see what it has become at times. It all centers around the cost. Just do the best you can and try to understand your Mom is just having a very difficult time adjusting to the great change that is coming. God bless you all.

Sue said...

Dear Becky,

I agree with all the other posters. Don't be afraid to ask for help, and if it becomes too much for you and your mom, don't be afraid to say so. You must keep strong for you and your mother to deal with the future and all that it may hold. I am praying for you all. And, as Beverly said, I believe that your mom's resentment comes from the entire situation, not just your dad coming home.

Hugs, as always,


aimee said...

my prayers are with you and your parents. sounds like you have so much faith in Him and that will get you through any thing you face.

Arlette said...

My prayers are with you and your family. Take care and try to keep up your emotional strength during these trying times. You are correct in believing that you are cradled in God's hands. You never walk alone.

Fay said...

Becky, I know you are under a lot of stress now but just remember that your Dad is the most important one right now. Do what ever you have to do and deal with your Mother later. Just a short note about me. I saw a new neurologist two weeks ago and she put me back on a low dose of the first med I took. No headaches so far and no side effects. I will have an MRI Wed and see if anything shows up. They did and EEG and I guess it was OK since I did't hear otherwise. You stay strong. Fay