Wednesday, September 23, 2009

New Beginnings . . .

For the last two plus years my life has been primarily taken up with my parents. There were almost weekly doctors appointments, emergency room visits or hospital stays with my dad. When I wasn't caring for them, or doing the basic necessities at my own home, I was stuck in depression. Thankfully I found my way out of that boggy mire just a couple of months ago.

During these last couple of years, I didn't feel comfortable going more than two to three hours away from home, so vacations have been - while nice - not our usual types of vacations. And we've cancelled several longer distance trips just because I couldn't be that far from home.

The last 9 months have been the worst. My dad's condition worsened continuously, and watching him decline was awful! Having him leave us and go to his new eternal home in heaven has been mostly joyful because it was so much harder seeing him so uncomfortable and in pain, but also because I know I will see him again one day, and we'll never have to part again.

Oh, I've had my moments, several with my Mama when we would be talking, take each other's hands and share a teary smile. During the funeral service I cried a good bit, but it was mostly good, cleansing tears. And since that time I've had a moment or two alone - one being in the shower this morning. Just doing normal things without having to worry about the phone ringing with an emergency is such a bittersweet relief!

My mom is back home, and ready to start her life over. They were married over 59 years and lived in the same house all that time. My dad has always been kind of 'high maintenance', and the last few years even more so, so she is ready for a little independence. Just today her sister came to get her and they went 'gallivanting' around town. She has already dealt with Social Security, medical insurance, life insurance, and several other business issues. She knows what her income will be, and she's fine with that. For one thing she won't have hundreds of dollars of meds coming out of her income each month, so that will be a help.

My nephew has supposedly found 'a place' and has started moving out his things, with the final move being on Friday. Once he is out, my mom is going to have a friend and former neighbor come and change out her dead-bolt locks so my nephew won't be able to come in any more without her letting him in. He is beginning to understand the concept of "This is MY house and belongings, not YOURS!!!"

I've been sick for a week, but am doing better each day - I know it's been the flu, but worsened because I was just totally physically and emotionally exhausted. I finished up the regular laundry today and only have the dogs beds and my 'sick' blanket left to wash. Hubby and I pulled the camper out of the garage today, and got it opened up so that I can start straightening it and making beds tomorrow.

It had been our plan to be camping now, but after my dad passed away we called and postponed the trip for a week. We leave on Saturday morning and will be there until the following Sunday morning. We'll only be a couple of hours away, so around the middle of next week I'll run down to pick up my mom and her fishing stuff so she can join us for half the week. She loves fishing and hasn't gotten to do much this last couple of years.

Once we get back and I get things back to normal from the trip, I hope to figure out how I want MY days to go from now on! I know one thing, I've got to clean my house from top to bottom and back again, clean closets, reorganize, do the pre-Christmas window and carpet cleaning that didn't get done last year. I also want to get back to sharing more crafty and foodie things here on my blog. Of course Mama will be here visiting with us more, and I'll still be going to help her run errands and do things she needs help with - that's a given!

It's going to be odd to have more 'free' time on my hands - free meaning without being afraid to start something because I'll have to stop and go to my parents or the hospital. It's going to be fun, with an edge of bittersweet. But Daddy will always be right here with me, of that I have no doubt!

Specific prayer requests:

  1. Peace and a feeling of security for my mom as she lives alone for the first time in her 79 years!!!

  2. An easy transition for my nephew, and that he gets a job and really TRIES to make a life for himself.

  3. Rest for hubby and me as we spend next week at the lake, relaxing, eating and playing games.

Thank you once again for all the prayers and sweet encouragements. You folks are the best! Blessings to you all! Becky


Anonymous said...

It is so nice to see a post from you. I'm glad my doxie Harriet made you smile tonight! That is the main focus of my new blog - to give joy! I continue to keep you and your family in my prayers and I hope you and your husband have perfect Autumn weather for your trip. God bless.

K-Sue said...

I'm glad to hear from you. It's good to know that some of the family difficulties are working out, and your Mother is taking control of her home. Will continue to pray. I look forward to seeing more crafty posts again. I;m sure your fingers are itching - but plenty of time fro that after your vacation! Have a glorious time.

Ladybug in TN said...

My sweet CC, please take better care of yourself. If you have the flu, why are you flitin' around outside cleaning the camper? You need to be resting and doing little things at a time and rest again. Here I am the voice of reason giving advice, AGAIN.
I am so excited for your Mom's independence and she will have the peace and strength to live alone and ENJOY it.
I think it is so sweet that you are going to let her share in your trip. She will have things to talk about to her friends that she is not used to doing. You will be hearing about her branching out I hope soon with her friends and that will keep her occupied and help her to rest at night.
God bless and please do not over exert yourself preparing for the camp out.

Fay said...

So glad you are feeling better again and are having a little time for yourself. You will have moments of grief but then the sun will shine again. I'm glad your Mom is finally taking charge of her house and maybe your nephew will get his act together. Have fun on your vacation
P.S. I have the crud now.

Life is good! said...

wow you have been through alot. what a wonderful daughter you are. i have a feeling that your mother will blossom, being on her own, but knowing you are close by. have a fun camping trip with hubby!

tara said...

I love the title of this post, because it is a new beginning for you~ embrace what is to come Becky, have a wonderful vacation~

Apron of the Month Club said...

When I used to hear of a request for prayer or see a need for prayer, I used to say, "I will pray for you". Now I stop immediately and pray. So please know that someone in deep south Texas has prayed for you and your family. I lost my father 4 years ago 9/23/09. I posted a picture of him on my blog. I remember being in a depression for about month. I was still functioning as a wife, mom, and employee; but my heart ached. Prayers in the shower are the best because the water helps wash away the hurt and cleanse us to feel God speaking to us. My mother is retiring from her job this month. My parents talked about their retirement years, and now she will have to travel that journey without my dad.

Please take care of yourself first. It isn't selfish. It is a way of ensuring that you will be healthy for yourself and others. Enjoy time with your husband!!

Blessing Be Yours!