Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Update on Dad

Hi there! Sorry I haven't been able to post earlier - it's been an interesting day! If parts of this don't make sense to you or if I horribly mis-spell words - I'm sorry, put it down to exhaustion!

My dad isn't doing well. He's in critical condition. The infection is still a mystery, but they may possibly have found the source - just too early to tell. He had a blockage from damage from previous radiation for prostate cancer (10-15 years ago) which was preventing him from urinating. There were 150 cc's (approx. 5 ounces) of urine in his bladder that he couldn't pass. They cannot put him to sleep as the risks are too great, so they gave him a milder sedative and did a procedure to send a little camera up there, and stretched the tube so urine can pass through it. This could possibly explain some other kidney related problems he's been having - we are not sure.

He had a heart arrhythmia (sp?) last night. His BP continues to be very low. He is on meds for the infection, for the low BP, for the heart arrhythmia, and I don't know what else. He is confused and while he knows he feels really bad, he doesn't understand why he has to be in the hospital. To be quite honest, I am not convinced he will ever return home. But they are really working hard on him.

My dad's youngest sister, who is only 7 years older than me, came and spent most of the day with us, and we always find a lot to talk about. Another visiter was Rev. S. who is a retired pastor who does hospital visits for the church that I went to when I was a child. He occasionally visits with my dad when he's outside in the yard at home, and somehow he always knows when my dad is in the hospital. Rev. S. and I have had some interesting conversations over the last few years, and today was no different.

You see, as a born again Christian, it is my belief that when I leave this body, this shell that holds my spirit dies, my soul, the real "ME" will immediately be in heaven with the Father in heaven who made me and who loves me beyond measure. I choose to believe that if you believe what the bible says, ask Jesus into your heart and ask forgiveness from your sins, once you die, then you will really begin to live as you were never able to live here on this earth! And Rev. S. and I had a nice talk about that today because I know my dad may not be able to hold out much longer. He is tired, and his body is battered and bruised and exhausted. And while I will miss him and will grieve for my loss, I am ready to let him go, because I know that I will see him again, and we will walk together, we will talk and tell jokes together, and we will be together forever. I love him enough to be ready, when that time comes, to tell him goodbye for a little while.

And what peace having that belief and that knowledge gives this daughter of two fathers!

Blessings friends, and thanks once again for the comments, good thoughts and prayers! Becky


Ladybug in TN said...

You seem to have it together. I hope your Dad has a living will. It is hard to see a loved one linger and go through so much when there is no quality of life left for them. God is the Healer and in control. Prayers for your Dad, Mom and you will be lifted.

kymber said...

I am so sorry that this is happening - even though you have the blessed assurance that your dad will be fine in the arms of Jesus, it is never easy to let go.
I am praying for you and for your father. Try to take care of yourself - you are no good to anyone if you are sick!

My heart and prayers go out to you!
Blessings to you,

Susan said...

Becky...sending hugs... you are so brave... I am honored to know you!

Thanks for the update...but know that we know you have more important things to do than blogging!

Don't forget to make time to take care of you!