If you have elderly parents and don't have to be responsible for their care, you are very fortunate. If you are younger and your parents aren't there yet, get ready. If you have siblings - talk about this NOW and reach an agreement as to how their care will be given and who will be responsible for what. Sadly, I only have one brother and he only comes around when he wants something. He is more of a liability than anything else, and he has never been, and will never be any help to me in the care of our parents.
This is harder than anything I've ever had to do - EVER!!! There are several levels on which it is hard, let me tell you a few:
1 - You become the parent of aging parents who still look at you as a child, so therefore you don't know anything. They look to you for guidance and help, but don't for a minute believe you can do anything to help them, and they don't even attempt to make it easier.
2 - There are things going on inside of them (physically and mentally) that you aren't even aware of and have to find out in little mini segments, making it hard to know what to do at any given time.
3 - They need and want independence, but they aren't able to be independent and resent the heck out of you for trying to take it away from them, even if you are only trying to help.
Wondering where this is coming from??? Well, my dad got home last night, was up and down all night, tried to pull the catheter out, and is totally unable to realize how serious his condition is. My mom is worn out from 2 weeks of worrying with him, and she's been up with him since before 5 AM because he'd had an accident in his pants and she had to clean him up and found a clot of blood in his pants. So she's got a call in to the Urologist about the catheter, and I've got a call in to the staff Dr. at the hospital about his meds and the social services nurse at his primary dr's office to talk to her about our options.
In my opinion my dad is no longer able to care for himself, and my mom is no longer able to provide the level of care he needs. After all, she's almost 79 y/o and I can see a huge decline in her over the last few months. She's tired, but it's more than that.
Are any of you in similar situations??? Do you have elderly parents that you are responsible for - either in part or in whole??? How are you dealing with this??? I'd love to hear from you, but more than that, I covet your prayers for my parents, and for myself! Specifically I need wisdom, patience, and peace that I am doing what is best for them both.
Talk to me! How have you handled similar situations! Becky