This old world is full of hurt and heartaches these days. People are hurting and suffering and dying all over the world. And it breaks my heart. My little corner of the world is no exception. There are some things going on with my family that are keeping me stressed out these days, and I'm having to make some tough decisions.
I am having to stand tall in my weakness and tell my brother and his youngest son that I can not and will not accept responsibility for their son and brother who has serious substance addictions as well as emotional and mental problems. I will care for Mama, but they are all adults, and I am just not able to take on any more right now. The last two years (caring for Daddy and watching him die very slowly) were the hardest and worst of my life. I was there every.single.time; every.single.day! (My brother was there, oh, maybe 4-5 times in 2 years.) I am not 'over' that yet. Physically and emotionally I am still a wreck. I can not and will not take on my brother's responsibilities!
That may sound harsh, hard, cold. I am sorry. I am just trying to let you see what is going on here, and hopefully to explain why I haven't posted in a week and a half. I am going to take a break from this blog for a short while. Right now, whenever I can, I am doing what I love, and playing with paper. For 8-9 months last year I wouldn't allow myself to make cards and 'play' with paper, ribbons, etc. I ended up in depression and being frozen in place. In this time, I am choosing the therapy of doing what I love, and trying to keep my head straight. I will still be posting my creations on my other BLOG as I try to work through this latest drama in my life.
It's hard because I hate arguing and fighting and 'drama'. I grew up with it, and H*A*T*E it! Rather than a 'drama queen',I am a drama-free queen, and have worked hard, along with my sweet hubby, to create a life with each other where that doesn't have a place. Sadly, both our families thrive on it, and we get thrown into the middle of it against our wills.
Your prayers for my nephew, and all of my immediate family would be truly appreciated. I'll be back when the dust settles. Thank you for being here, for reading the little 'piddly' things I have to say. You and your friendship mean more to me than I can say. Becky