Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Differences . . . . . . . or Similarities?

So, I have a question for you! It may seem an odd kind of question, but it's not really when you think about it. Here goes . . .

When you think of your friends, real friends, what do you see or look at first - your differences or your similarities?

In the last few months I have met two women under the same set of circumstances, and while one of them has become a good friend in a short amount of time. The other one not so much and, unless something changes drastically, I don't see that changing any time soon. So, why the difference between these two ladies?

Well, the first woman - the one I now call friend - and I immediately started noticing our similarities. Such as how we had grown up less than 50 miles from each other and how we both met our loves later in life than most and on and on and on. And our friendship quickly grew based on those similarities. Yes, we acknowledged and accepted our differences, but it was the similarities upon which we built our friendship, and upon which it grew and flourished.

The other lady will not get close enough to even SEE any similarities! Instead she is constantly trying to set herself apart and prove how different (and in some cases how much better) she is from me/us. And it's so sad, because she is robbing herself the friendships of two people who would love to nurture a frienship with her. We keep trying, but she is so busy trying to prove how different she is, that she can't even see the similarities. And I can't help but wonder how many other friendships she has missed out on over the years!

Friendships, especially for women, are so important! We both want, and need, to have that connection, that bond with other women. So tell me, what is it that you see most in your friendships? And if it is differences, how did you overcome that obstacle and build something beautiful out of it?



K-Sue said...

This is very though-provoking. It makes me examine myself to see if I am pushing anyone away.

Certainly it is easier to form bonds quickly based on similarities, but strong bonds can form between friends who have differences IF they appreciate each other, look past differences, or even embrace them, and, in general, think and act out of desire for friendship, out of love.

If, instead one or both are determined to hold the differences up as a shield, the friendship just cannot form. The self-protective shield has to drop.

Fay said...

Becky, this is a tough one. Friendships are so important. Just look at you and me. Who would have thought we would become good friends-me almost 20 years older than you and so different? But we did! I think you have to look beyond the differences and if she really wants to become a friend she will. If not that will be her loss because I know she would have a great deal of fun with you as a friend.

Ruth Ann said...

I came over from P-Dub. I would like to say that for me friendships form around what we have in common, the similarities, not the differences. Because that is where you have the laughter and understanding developing.

tara said...

great ?....I have so many different friends it is crazy! my sister n law is soo uber funny and cool, I love her but we have nothing in common, my bff has been my friend since 6th grade we have our babies in common and our pasts, that is about all...with blogging I think I have found friends with the same interests as me, like flea markets and vintage and photography it is hard to say, but I think you need a little of both...variety is the spice of life...and for your friend, or non-friend, just let her be, you don't need people like that in your life, she will most likely drag you down...pluk~!