Little Gifts

Well, I don't know where to start. There are a couple of things I don't want to go into on here until I get my facts straight - people read this blog, ya know! And I don't want to go telling things until I know the truth. Suffice it to say, I'll share it all with you later. The biggie is that my dad is settled into his room at the hospice house and is comfortable. He is being given pain meds and is pretty much out of it all the time now, which is a blessing in my eyes after seeing him in such pain in recent days.

When we got there this morning, everyone was SO glad to see us (yeah, right!) and treated my mom and me like royalty, and even offered us a guest tray for dinner tonight. We declined and told them we would be leaving within the hour - much, I am sure, to their delight!

The thing is, I have not once raised my voice, told anything other than the truth, or been a mean, nasty b*tch to get my dad readmitted to the hospice house. I just finally got someone to listen to me, who cared, and actually HEARD what I was saying. I think Susie heard the desperation in my voice last night.

We also found someone else who cared today in the person of one of the hospice physicians. We had not seen him before, but he was very nice and really listened to us, and when he left he said two things: 1) don't worry about him, he will be cared for and kept comfortable and will not be sent home again, and 2)I know you've already talked to Susie and she's had a talk with the folks here, but I'm upset about how you've been treated and I'll have a talk with them, too - enduring us to the staff there even more, I'm sure.

Oh, and before I move on, it didn't hurt any that this young doctor was drop dead GORGEOUS!!! Never mind that I'm probably old enough to be his mother and happily married - I almost asked him to run away with me! :o)

But although my dad was pretty much out of it all day, my mom and I each had a little gift from God today. First, my mother went and sat down next to him and reached out and touched his arm. He woke up, looked and her and said "You scared the piss out of me!" - a remark so very much like my dad! But shortly after, he was right back 'asleep'. My mama cracks up laughing every time she tells someone about it, and she's told everybody that she's talked to since then.

And my little gift was so special, and something I will remember forever! As I've told you, the hospice house has Sasha the hospice puppy, and she remembered me and was SO glad to see me! It could have something to do with the fact I gave her a rawhide bone last week, but I'm not sure! So, I took Sasha into my dad's room and put her on his bed. He looked up and started grinning. I moved her up to where he could pet her, and she licked his arm, and was very sweet for him. I said "Do you believe she remembered me?" and my dad, very typically sarcastic, said "Well, who wouldn't?" and reached and patted my arm, just a chuckling! I leaned over and kissed his forehead and said "I love you, Daddy!" And he was just smiling, but in less than a minute he was back in his fetal position and out of it. Folks, that was a gift from God! And I know they will be fewer and farther between until he finally goes home to heaven, but I am most sincerely and deeply grateful for that gift!

So, all in all it was a decent day. Tomorrow or the next day I expect to see the clinical director (Susie) and also expect to have a pow-wow with all the office workers at the facility who railroaded us into taking my dad home (and who did everything within their power to avoid us today) so that I can find out a few things and straighten out a few things with them. The main one being - no one (and I mean NO ONE) other than my mother and I is responsible for making decisions regarding my dad's care. And that's in writing, signed, sealed, notarized and legally binding, so there!

Sorry about that, but that's the part I don't want to talk about yet until I get my facts straight. Forget I said that last paragraph! :o}

And look for the little gifts, friends - they are there, we just have to be aware of them! Blessings, Becky